One
wish and it has to be for me.
My husband says,
tongue-in-cheek, that I should
wish for more wishes.
One
wish. My friend says I
should wish for a genetic cure
for MS. I could hardly
wish for a genetic cure just
for myself... so this would
help everyone. Maybe.
I doubt that they would figure
it out and be able to snap
their fingers and fix us all,
so, I don't think that would
work. It would be good
for future MSers.
One
wish. I have been
thinking of lots of little
wishes and finally I got
really bold and my wish is
that I could revert to my body
of 10 years ago without any
more progression. Ever.
I have had MS for almost 20
years, but if I could just go
half way back, then I would be
walking, mostly, using my
walker and I'd be using my
scooter for shopping. If
I could just go half way back
then I wouldn't feel so guilty
about asking to be better.
If
I could just go back 10 years
I would be able to do so much.
My body of 10 years ago was
able to pick itself up off the
floor. That would mean
that I could do exercises on
the floor and that I could
play with the children on the
floor. Not that I really
want to do floor exercises,
but it would be really nice to
play with kids on the floor
and be able to get back up.
My
body of 10 years ago hardly
ever fell. If I did fall
I jumped right up.
Nowadays if I fall it's a
major production to get me off
the floor. No fun at
all.
My
body of 10 years ago was able
to clean house and cook and I
did my share of everything!
Nowadays I feel really guilty
as I watch my husband do
things I once did.
Nowadays I come home from
grocery shopping totally
exhausted and leave my husband
to put everything away. This
is after he has put everything
on the conveyor belt for it to
be added up and he has packed
everything in bags and carted
it out to the van and stowed
it and brought it into the
house. I used to help
with those things. I
feel guilty that he has to do
it all now.
My
body of 10 years ago could go
up and down stairs so I could
go visit my daughter down in
her new basement apartment.
My darling daughter has
recently moved out of our
house again and this time she
has a basement apartment which
I cannot get into. Years
ago I would have helped her
move and and I would have been
visiting with her already in
her new apartment but nowadays
I have to rely on her oral
description of her place or
pictures. Not the same
at all, really
10
years ago I could fly on
airplanes without being
classified as "carry on".
It would really be nice to be
able to fly places again.
My husband loves to travel and
it really hurts when he says
we should go to New York City
and to see a Broadway play
because I know the reality is
that it's not going to happen.
He'll have to do that with his
next wife, unless I could wish
to go back 10 years. I
would be such a good wife and
mother if I could just have
that body again; if I could
have those abilities again.
This morning it took me an
hour to take my shower and get
dressed afterwards. This
routine took 10 minutes 10
years ago.
This afternoon I will be
having a frozen entrée for
lunch. All I manage
right now is microwaving.
10 years ago I could craft a
sandwich or salad by myself.
This weekend we will be having
a gathering of my husband's
siblings and their siblings.
10 years ago I would have been
totally involved in the
cooking and preparing.
Nowadays I just do the mental
planning.
This afternoon as I read, I
will probably fall asleep in
my gimp recliner... the one
that is electric so that it
stands me up. I am so
thankful to have it, but
wouldn't it be lovely to sit
in my sweet old
rocker/recliner and be able to
get up out of it. I'd
also be able to pull the
wooden handle and make it
recline. I can't
remember the last time my
right arm was strong enough to
do that. Just last year
I did my afternoon reading out
on the deck in my lovely
glider. Nowadays I
cannot get out of my lovely
glider, so I have to read in
the house. Dagnabit.
This evening I will read in
bed and hopefully get there by
myself. Sometimes I
don't quite manage and I have
to yell for Dave, my hubby.
As I lay there I will have my
right foot and leg propped up
on a foam wedge so that the
swelling goes down. 10
years ago my right foot and
leg did not swell. 10
years ago I could jump into
bed all by myself.
10
years ago I would be making
jam and jelly about this time
of year. I would be
canning fruits and preserving
things from our gardening.
Except 10 years ago it would
have been my gardening.
10 years ago my husband didn't
garden much. It's one of
the things he's taken over now
that I can't do it, like jam
making. Nowadays I just
supervise the jam making.
I miss standing over the
boiling jam and smelling that
delicious aroma.
So... I'm sure a lot of people
came up with a better wish and
I will be very interested to
read them. I'm not very
creative, but I really wish I
had my 45-year-old body back.
