By

Sharon Messina

On the short list of people who have inspired me are Jesus Christ, Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Phil, Dr Joseph Campbell, Dr. Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Neal Donald Walsh, my own mother, father and step mother(s), and my sweetheart, Gary. They, among many, inspired and assisted me in becoming who I am.

Soon I will be moving from my beautiful apartment that has been my sanctuary for going on three years, as the new owners purchased it for the sole purpose of "going condo".

My sweetheart has asked that I move in with him and I have agreed. I know I will be better off as increasing disability is making it more difficult and less safe for me to live alone.

A friend recently asked, "Do you think maybe you are happier with having a true love and a physical affliction than being sound in body and with a hurtful person?"  My answer to her was, "Absolutely, and I talk about this often. I tell Gary, ‘If it took getting sick to find you, then it is worth it.’  He doesn't see it quite that way and has said, ‘If you get well and I lose you, although it would hurt like hell, it would be worth it.’"

Considering the blinders of the "human doing" treadmill I was on most of my life, I am certain this much of my spiritual growth would not have happened so quickly were it not for MS halting me in my tracks, forcing me down the path of disability so that I would finally understand the meaning of Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God".

I am amazed with how things are unfolding and give thanks every day.  God could not have placed a more capable, intelligent and gifted man in my life.  His love, generosity, kindness and tireless support leave me in this state of "awe".  Growing up in chaos and dysfunction, I did not realize that relationships could be this loving and peaceful.

Gary has been retired for nearly a decade and single for over two. In his career he had been a manager for a very large corporation, where he started out as a computer programmer in the early 60’s. In the late 60’s he received an offer from another, much smaller, company to manage and help them grow their business while converting all operations to computer. Several years after this company had grown substantially, he took a new position with the same large corporation he’d left years earlier, to become the manager of a smaller computer software development company within that corporation.

As I learn more about some of what Gary had been responsible for, and especially after a recent conversation with one of his friends and former co-workers, I am dumbfounded by the enormity of the technical details and complexity of the work and how much pressure and responsibility was involved. His friend told me how impressive Gary had been when faced with the most difficult challenges involving developing computer programs, business transactions with deadlines and staff management. He said he, too, was in awe of Gary’s ability to orchestrate what seemed, at times, to be the impossible.

Aside from having a very clear understanding of human nature and psyche he has the capacity to articulate complex ideas with precision, humor, wit and diplomacy. Gary’s skills in diagnosing and solving computer problems are uncanny. Watching him tear one apart and rebuild it (a 40 hour project) has revealed what a wizard he is. It taught me a lot, but also made my eyes roll back in my head when I realized the vast amount of knowledge he possesses. He has taught me nearly everything I know about computers which is still quite limited by comparrison.

Gary has helped me organize my life to such a degree as I never knew was possible. I have even been able to find employment telecommuting from home with my recently acquired computer knowledge. Yes, I have an ideal job!

I work as a virtual employee, from the comfort of my home, ordering IRS tax forms over the internet for the public and businesses. I love having a job and responsibility again. Gary couldn’t be more proud to see all he’s taught me being utilized in such a positive way.

He has often quoted something he once heard, "Being happy is having something to look forward to". He’s made it his mission to put as much quality in my life as possible and unburden me as much as he can by doing all my chores and then some. His wisdom, affection and effort to help me get the most out of each day keeps me inspired.